This is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? From my perspective, it is definitely alright to stay together for the children. Most people come together to create them, so why not stay together for them as well? However, this choice must come from the right place—from the goodness of one’s heart. If you wish to spare your descendants from unnecessary trouble, you can find a way to live together in a better, truer way. It takes work, but slowly, things can turn for the better. With the right guidance, it becomes easier, but ultimately the willingness must be there. In most cases, the causes for a split are basically an unwillingness to see the truth of things or a refusal to find a path that is true and functional. It often feels easier to split up and go through the familiar pain of separation than to face the scary, unknown path of healing, correcting, and unavoidably letting go of the things we like to indulge in—including certain destructive emotions. You don’t stay together simply “because” of the kids; you stay together because that is the way of love. Love reveals all our wounds, and that is why it becomes difficult. We all need a bit of help navigating that. There is one thing you need, however: you must realize that family is truly what you want. If your partner does not want to commit to change, do not force them. Accept them, and instead, commit to your own change. This will help. In time, your partner will change accordingly to their environment—which is you.
A quote I like: “Your wife will not have a life, unless she gets a man who deals with strife.”